Personal Growth Hacking and the Habit Loop
My suggested reading list for understanding yourself and others in 2020
With few exceptions, we all recognize the importance of good habits, something we seem inevitably drawn to at this time of year. Some like a moth to a flame and others with perhaps a bit less enthusiasm. What you may not realize however is that regardless of what group you fall into, there is a way to hack your recurring behavior patterns.
In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg introduces a number of useful concepts in this pursuit. Habits, it turns out, have 3 primary ingredients: the Cue, the Routine and the Reward. Understanding how this triad works together, the Habit Loop, is crucial in altering existing behavior patterns. Have a habit you want to change? Focus on the routine and replace the old routine with the desired alternative while optimizing the cue and reward.
Of course, it’s a bit more complicated than that, as the book will reveal, but not much. One can imagine the potential with this information. Indeed, how it works can provide the critical awareness for conscious influence over habits of all kinds.
Not all habits are created equal
In his book, Charles also introduced a term for habits that act as force multipliers. They are called keystone habits and get their name from the wedge-shaped stone that occupies the center of an arch. That clever design utilizes the laws of physics to form a bond that locks its constituent parts together. A great illustration of this in practice is exercise because it generally results in an improved diet, better sleep, more productivity at work, reduced stress levels and so on. Remove the exercise component and it’s not long until cracks form and the metaphoric stones come crashing down around you.
You have them already, you just might not realize it
With a little inspection it’s not hard to discover we all have keystone habits, some desired and others we’d like to pitch. One of my personal favorites, as I’ve mentioned in a previous article, is combining audio books with walking. I’ve been told that I walk with purpose, but this year has brought new meaning to that expression. I have accumulated nearly 3,000 trail miles in 2019 which for me equates to a bit over 700 hours of potential kinesthetic learning. I say potential because I use just a bit over half that time for books with the residual dedicated to reflection and music.
I know, that still seems like a lot, and while it’s a nice accomplishment, I never set out to achieve a specific number. Instead, it became a near daily habit that just made me feel good for a variety of reasons. When I add to the benefits associated with exercise all of the learning and reflection, the routine has become its own flywheel.
At this point, it’s worth calling out that if I only had one habit it would be easy to become prideful. However, with somewhere around forty percent of our daily activities being habitual, I have plenty of other areas that keep me humble. That’s OK, our pursuit is never about perfection, it’s about getting better and I have my work cut out for me in 2020.
Getting to the point, my Top 10 suggested books for 2020
Now that was a lot of buildup, but anyone who has spent time with me knows how much I enjoy sharing what I’ve learned and finding application for it both personally and professionally. It’s with that spirit that I share a list of what I consider my Top 10 books for 2020, all of which revolve around the theme of understanding yourself and others better.
The concept of Attachment Theory was very influential for me in 2019 and this book is the most approachable of many I read on the topic. Beyond romantic relationships, the behaviors it drives are very instrumental in all relationships, including the workplace. In fact, this became a great example of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. I found attachment related content showing up in literature, journals and a lot of other forums as well. As a result, this is my number one recommendation as far as topical areas are concerned.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include the different attachment styles, how they’re formed and how they can change. It’s a good thing we’re pliable, but it requires awareness and work. And, I can assure you, time spent understanding this subject will reap immediate benefits in both your personal and professional relationships.
A New Year’s reading list of this sort wouldn’t be complete without a recommendation for Gretchen Rubin’s work on The Four Tendencies or her most recent title Better Than Before. Yes, the former is another personality framework, but with a compelling twist that helps us understand how we deal with internal and external expectations. At this writing I am working through the latter title on habits. I’ve found it’s a great complement to The Power of Habit from the introduction with a lot of new and interesting things to ponder.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include the what and why of her framework along with the actual labels which include the Upholder, Questioner, Obliger and Rebel. Want to know your type? Check out The Four Tendencies Quiz.
For most of you, Malcolm needs little introduction. It’s also quite possible you’ve already heard a lot about his recent work given the massive exposure it has received. I think this is my favorite of his collection, mostly because of the topic and the innovative way the book was produced. It’s yet another reminder to us that unconscious bias has a strong influence in our day to day interactions and we can’t afford to ignore it.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include Coupling, which is highly correlated to habits, Default to Truth and Transparency in a way that only Malcolm can explain.
There are many parallels to Malcolm Gladwell’s writing style in Charles’ work. The ability to learn new concepts that are grounded in real life examples is a very engaging format. I also enjoyed how he weaves these ideas together in a practical way in his appendix. It’s really a tossup about which book I enjoyed more, this or his new book on The Power of Habit, so I chose both for this article.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include the importance of psychological safety in building great teams, disfluency when absorbing data and the importance of using stretch, proximal and SMART goals together to accomplish bold things that matter.
Boundaries are a popular topic today, and for good reason. They’re how we can most effectively manage our lives and relationships both in and outside of work. In short, boundaries help ensure safety on any number of fronts be it physical, psychological, emotional, social and so on. Some of you may be put off by the Christian references here, but it might be the most time tested, thorough and practical guide available on the topic which is why I selected it.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include setting limits, effectively communicating boundaries and understanding the negative short- and long-term consequences of compliance.
I have really been drawn to personality frameworks and human behavior in recent years. This book, part of the Great Courses, provides very good breadth over its 24 lectures and resulted in a number of additional reads for further depth. This style isn’t for everyone however and is not intended for any depth in a given area of study. Still, it’s quite useful.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include frameworks for understanding the complexities of personality like OCEAN, an acronym for one’s levels of Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness and Neuroticism. You’ll also get some insight into the composition of personality, both genetic and social factors.
This is an area of study that I had very little exposure to until coming across this title. There were parts that were heart breaking and difficult to digest, but it has really given me a perspective I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Beyond that, it provided insight into the really groundbreaking and encouraging work being done to help people through traumatic experiences. When one considers the number of people impacted, this information should be considered compulsory.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include the pervasiveness of trauma and the traces it leaves behind, the many therapy classifications and types along with a scathing commentary on the DSM. This part was eye opening given the impact on people seeking treatment and the insurance implications. Perhaps the most encouraging and fascinating thing I learned about was EMDR ( Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).
We live in a global economy and whether you work with people from different cultures on a daily basis, do any level of international travel, or just watch the news, this book and it’s corresponding guide is indispensable. What I liked most is the way David distilled “cultural value dimensions” into something digestible and then doing a world tour describing the corresponding behaviors in a low vs. high index of the dimension.
Some examples of the dimensions you’ll learn about include how we think about Identity, Authority, Risk, Time and so on. It’s no wonder we have so much difficulty and fail to interpret behaviors properly across cultures.
If you haven’t heard of Robert Green before, he has a really unique and compelling writing style that seeks to take wisdom or follies from historical figures and apply it today. This work represents one of a number of thought provoking titles that also includes the 48 Laws of Power, his most popular book. Unlike his other works which seem more outwardly focused on possible interpretations for the behavior of others, this title focuses more inward to drive change with clarity and purpose.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include a well-organized step by step guide for identifying your purpose and then developing a strategy to attain a level of mastery through a set of personal transformations.
*I always exercise a bit of caution when I recommend Robert’s work. While I find myself over indexing on awareness in my reading selections, I often find myself uncomfortable with many of Roberts’ interpretations and suggested applications of it in his work. Still, I find his work quite fascinating on a number of levels and like many of the other titles, I will return to this and others.
This book might appear out of place on this list, but when one considers the impact of bad strategy you begin to appreciate the importance of getting it right and the many applications of it. So, it occurred to me that beyond common sense, I simply lacked the tools required to analyze strategy. In his book, Richard does a fantastic job synthesizing the concepts behind good strategy and equipping you with the skills you need to identify bad strategy. It’s also worth noting that there are parallels in crafting good strategy and habits.
Some concepts you’ll learn here include the three essential ingredients to good strategy. It’s comprised of an accurate diagnosis of a key challenge, a guiding policy for dealing with the challenge and a set of coherent and coordinated actions that are designed to carry out the guiding policy. Sounds a lot like an approach to developing good organizational habits.
Conclusion
Do you have your own Top 10 or individual book suggestions? What about favorite habits or success stories?
I am always on the lookout for my next great listen or personal story so please take time to add yours in the comments below or message me direct.
Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com.
